Just call me the Pie Protectors!
I’m baaaaack! I took a short hiatus while we settled into our new place, but man are we excited to be in Oakland! There’s not much I love seeing more than the freshly mowed grass, cleanly dragged infield, and most importantly, the fans at the Coliseum. My face [Eric] and I are really excited for this season, it’s going to be a good one; I can feel it in my frames.
Today I decided to touch on the one question I hear Eric get asked the most, “Why are you so handsome?” Alriiiight. “Why don’t you wear contacts?!” Helloooo people! If it’s not broke, don’t fix it!
Let’s all take a minute to give Eric a little credit (and me a little more appreciation), and understand that he’s weighed out all of his options. I give him 20/10 vision. Beast-mode. He just doesn’t see as well with contacts as he does with me (phew!). Lasik only guarantees 20/20, he’s considered “high risk” due to astigmatism and some weird “pupils dilate larger than normal” thing, and if they screw something up? Whoosh! There goes his career!
Moral of the story? I’m awesome. Ok. Real moral of the story: I work for him, so that’s what he’s going with, and I’m not mad about it. I’m also still waiting for an Eric Sogard glasses giveaway at the ballpark. Forget bobbleheads, let’s have Hipster Day at the field!
On a side note, instead of signing autographs after tomorrow’s game, Eric will be doing fans taxes. (Just kidding, E.)